Friday, March 31, 2017



"What is Santinni?" Clarissa went with the more obvious question to start off.

"He's a game warden of sorts, demon, though there are angels. Most of the creatures we end up needing to destroy escaped from one place or the other Santinni is here to make sure much like any game warden, that they are destroyed and not kept like some kind of pet or experiment." Clarissa was just so baffled, yesterday she had been a hard A atheist and now not only were monsters real, but heaven and hell? Like she'd fallen down the crazy hole, she almost worried this was a mental break and Gilbert was just a nice orderly trying to talk her down.

"I'm so lost."

"The more important thing is getting you licensed, I didn't bring it up before because I didn't know if you wanted to stick around, but much like any other trade we don't just let anyone out here to exterminate creatures, and there is a cost to be paid."

"You say cost in a way I'm not comfortable with."

"You're not going to like it."

"Hit me Gilbert, I can take it."

"You're soul." Clarissa laughed, she just didn't know what else to do.

"My what?"

"You're soul, you have to put it in a kind of pawn like situation with the eternal powers, that way if you break the covenants they take a price that no human would ever want to pay."

"So Santinni is a demon game warden who wants my soul so I can kill monsters for a living."

"Yes this is the long and short of what I'm saying."

"Man my world is so fucked up right now." Gilbert didn't say anything in response he just drove, and Clarissa her one pressing question answered went to sleep. The rest of the drive was uneventful.


Clarissa woke up with a start. She was in a bed that she didn't remember falling asleep in. She was still the clothes she was wearing when she went to sleep in the work van. She could tell it was dark out, but had no idea where she was. She got out of bed and saw her shoes were placed at the end of it. She looked to be in someones guest room, there were no pictures on the walls, and only a bed and small night stand with a lamp on it. Beyond the room she could hear talking and one of the voices sounded like Gilberts.

"I'm just saying you said temporary and this has been going on for six months, you have a weird definition of temporary." Gilbert had some anger in his voice. Clarissa was in a small hallway off a kitchen, she could see yellow light and a range in front of her.

"This is how you treat family? Especially after Dad died I thought you'd..."

"Don't you throw that shit at me Joseph, don't you dare try and act like he just died, he died five years ago, and it has nothing to do with your dumb bullshit."

"You're an asshole." There was a door slam and Joseph was gone, Gilbert showed up at the end of the hallway and spotted Clarissa.

"I hope we didn't wake you."

"Nah I had gotten up, I'm at your house?"

"You mentioned you didn't have a place to stay, and you were pretty tired when I pulled up, figure better in our guest room than in the van." Clarissa walked the rest of the way into the kitchen and saw it was a fairly large and older in design, something from the sixties by her guess.

"So that was your nephew?"

"Yeah Joseph, I didn't mind him being here at first, but now the little shit is setting up shop. And I'm not a halfway house for his failures. He uses my brothers death like a club against me at any and all opportunity." Gilbert looked tired to Clarissa, she wondered if he had slept at all. Before she could ask him there was a ring of a doorbell.

"You're nephew?"

"Has a key, and he never rang the bell." There was worry in Gilbert's voice, Clarissa recalled Santinni saying he had a week, but maybe the demon got impatient.

"Creatures?" Gilbert chuckled and the doorbell rang two more times insistent.

"They don't ring doorbells, but you'll learn that in time, no come on lets not leave Francis Dufton on my door step." Clarissa wondered how he knew who it was, but she figured with experience came expectation.

"Mr. Dufton this is my residence this is not how we do things in this industry." Dufton was a thin tall man, pale white skin and really black hair. He was dressed in a black suit and a had a couple of large looking men in suits with him.

"You have something for me Mr. Dunkley."

"A bill at my office which you're welcome to come get in the morning." Gilbert went to close the door and Dufton stopped it with his hand and came inside unasked, his men remained outside. Clarissa could see this upset Gilbert.

"The ax Dunkley, I'm here for the ax."

"I knew you double booked on me."

"Vasilly told me you had the game warden run him off, now as your employer..."

"You should know all my contracts say I keep what I kill, if you wanted the ax you should have specified."

"Don't fuck with me Dunkley."

"Don't fuck with me Dufton, you are an uninvited guest in my house and if you think those two outside scare me you obviously don't know what I do for a living. Keep this up and I'll add an asshole charge to your bill." Both men stood staring at each other looking for an opening. Dufton eventually put his hands up and went toward the door.

"This isn't over."

"Not until you pay my bill." Clarissa looked at Gilbert who was breathing kind of heavy.

"That was kind of scary."

"Yeah, more than a little bit."

"Is every job like this?" Gilbert smiled.

"Gods no, just the shitty ones. And this one is seeing more and more like the worst of the worst. I'm going to have get that axe in here and give it a once over, something ain't right."

"Can I take a shower first I smell awful." Gilbert laughed.

"Yeah please do, might even have a change of clothes if you don't mind wearing some of my wifes." The tension seemed more defused, still Clarissa was as interested in the Ax as Gilbert was. She figured something was wrong, and the sooner they figured that out, the sooner this whole thing would go away.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Not a Game I'm Playing


"Not even if god him self comes down do I want to be disturbed! I've been up for over a day, I've been coated in blood three time and I'm just so tired Gil, so tired." It had been four hours since they killed the other creature, Clarissa and Gilbert both were caked in dust, blood, and general forest trappings. Clarissa felt drained in every way a person could be.

"I hear ya, grab some sleep, I'll wake you when we get home." Gilbert wasn't tired at all himself, he always found killing creature exhilarating, though he was hungry. He knew he'd stop at a fast food place on the way home.

"Don't even do that, just leave me in the van, I'll just sleep a day in here." Gilbert had only just gotten the van going when he slammed on the breaks and Clarissa looked at him sourly.

"What did I say Gil?"

"Armed men in the road say differently Clarissa."

"I knew it we're going to prison forever."

"They aren't the authorities, stay in the van." Clarissa could see two jeeps and a pick up truck, all told it looked like eight men with rifles and dressed like soldiers. The man in front was not armed, he looked more like an accountant with a ring of hair and a skeezy looking mustache.

"Gilbert fucking Dunkley, my man." His accent was some form of eastern european to Clarissa's ears.

"Vasilly, double booked?"

Vasilly licked his lips and looked away like he was trying to find the words, "Nah Dunkley, I'm here for the ax, give it over."

"You know the rules, this isn't them."

"My men say it is them, rules are for people playing games Dunkley I ain't playing a game, the ax." Gilbert looked pained, Clarissa remembered him taking the ax, but she didn't ask at the time why, now it appears it was a deliberate thing.

"Gent le men, pl e ase, remain civl," Everyone's attention switched focus from Gilbert and Vasilly to the new voice, a man in a bowler hat three piece suit and a cane with a crystal on top of it. Clarissa was mystified where this guy came from, he seemingly showed up from no where.

"This has nothing to do with you warden." The Bowler hatted man leaned his head back, Clarissa noticed his eyes were red, not the iris, the entire eye with just a blackness for his pupils.

"Vas sssssiii llly," Bowler smiled, it was an off putting thing to Clarissa, "Ev ery thing, interests," he paused again Clarissa felt like who ever Bowler was, he was deliberately dragging out his sentences, "Me."

"What I did was legal, Vasilly and I are just having a disagreement, that's all."

"Ahhh," Bowler looked at Gilbert, looked at Vasilly and then back at Gilbert and then smiled again, "Find yourself disagreeing with guns often Gil BERT?"

"Sometimes." Gilbert acted like he was talking to a parent who caught him sneaking a cookie.

"Vas illlllly you may go, Gil BERT you have to stay after class, we have," Bowler paused again chewing on the words, "Business."

"I'm not leavin..."

"If you will not go I will make you go, do you wish for me to do that Mr. Koblechev? I will do it." The words were fast and irritated Bowler hat no longer seemed interested in dragging out the encounter.

"This isn't over Dunkley." Vasilly spun his finger around and his men turned their jeeps around and left, with Vasilly getting into the pick up and flipping Gilbert off before he took his seat. The man in the bowler waited for them to leave, rocking back and forth on his dress shoes.

"Clarissa Shipley, please exit the vehicle." It was alarming to Clarissa the man in the hat knew her name, even more so the way he said it. She did as she was told, her previous tiredness discarded in the face of the red eyed Bowler man.

"Santinni I can explain."

"Ex plain? Unlicensed exterminators are very much not allowed. There can be pen al ties Gilbert."

"This job just came up Santinni I was just trying to."

"The smell of goblin blood on you," Santinni looked from Gilbert to Clarissa, "Milk run? Right Gilbert?" Santinni laughed and Clarissa did not like the sound. "One week, either licensed or penalties, ok? We're done here you may go."

"Thank you." But Santinni was already gone, he disappeared the same way he had arrived.

"I have so many questions."

"Thought you wanted to sleep?"

"Well not now."

Friday, March 17, 2017

Grave Digging


"Why again are we dragging the body of a creature through the woods?" Clarissa and Gilbert had cleaned themselves up the best they could using an outdoor faucet. Neither one felt brave enough to venture into a cabin even with the killer dead outside.

"Got to bury these things, or they'll come back."

"But didn't he already come back, aren't we just like not actually stopping anything by doing this?" Clarissa knew Gilbert was already doing most of the dragging even with him holding two shovels, but her arms still burned from the exertion, and she was tired. It had been almost a full day since she last slept and that was catching up to her as the sun started to crest on the horizon.

"Just because the raccoons got into your garbage once doesn't mean its a bad idea to put it in the can."

"That doesn't answer anything."

"I believe it does, less talking more carrying." They eventually got to a small clearing that Gilbert felt was hidden enough and began digging. It took a couple more hours, and by the time they were done the morning sun was fully up in the sky. Clarissa threw her shovel down and just sat on the ground not wanting to move.

"So is Canada going to think we are serial killers since we came up here and killed the real killer as it were?"

"No they know what killed those people, like I said everyone knows who needs to know."

"I don't know what scares me more, monsters or the fact my government has been hiding them from me so private contractors can kill them." Gilbert smiled, and took out his pipe again, Clarissa found the smoke oddly comforting, she half believed it was some magic smoke that made things better.

"Personally the monsters scare me more, government is just something I pay my taxes to and get my pension from." Clarissa leaned back and then screamed. She hadn't looked up before, and now saw the impaled body of Frank. From his position it looked like Paul had literally tossed him on to a branch. Clarissa would have found it weird they didn't see him in the tree if not how tired they had been and how dark it was.

"How do we get him down?" Clarissa was not looking forward to what Gilbert would suggest.

"I guess cut the tree branch, I mean I'm glad I brought Paul's ax, but that feels kind of wrong to do to Fr..." Gilbert stopped mid sentence and Clarissa couldn't figure out why at first and then she felt the presence behind her.

"There's something behind me isn't there."


"There were two of these killers in the woods and you didn't figure on that."

"You're two for two."

"We're going to die aren't we?"

"MOVE!" Gil charged forward with the ax, Clarissa side stepped herself right into the tree with Frank's body in it. The jostling was enough to dislodge Frank's corpse right on top of her. He smelled of pine and decay. Clarissa looked up to see that the new creature and Gil we're fighting over the ax, she was surprised by how strong Gilbert was. He had to be in his fifties at the earliest and yet he was able to keep the creature tied up though he was losing. Clarissa slipped out from underneath Frank's body and she noticed clutched in his hand was one of the bones like Gilbert had used earlier. She took it up hoping that it too was laced with the virgin semen and charged herself at the monster. He had almost gotten the ax away from Gilbert when she plunged the bone into his back where she hoped his heart would be. The flesh gave way a lot easier than she expected or she was stronger than she gave herself credit for. Either way the monster relinquished its grip on the ax and Gilbert took it up and chopped its head off causing a blood geyser to erupt on to Clarissa.

"I just don't even how, how does this keep happening."

"That's not what's going to really upset you."

"We have to dig another god damn hole don't we."

"Yep, two more, have to bury Frank too."

"I hate this job."

Friday, March 10, 2017

Gilbert Vs Paul


The Canadian boarder didn't really look that imposing to Clarissa. Just a couple booths with signage indicating you were leaving america. She didn't know what she expected, but something more grander than what she got. They were the only car in line to cross at just under one in the morning. Gilbert didn't even take out any kind of passport or paperwork, just drove right up to one of the booths and waited for the boarder guard.

"Evening sir." The guard's name tag read Saunders, he looked really young, younger than even Clarissa. She figured graveyard was probably where they stuck the rookies.

"Same to you young man, Gilbert Dunkley and I'm here on business." Saunders had an old fashioned clip board with actual paper on it, Clarissa thought it strange she figured everyone just used tablets now.

"And the young woman?"

"My new assistant."

"Right, destination?"

"Geode Creek, Saunders, I new a Pat Saunders once, you related?"

The young man smiled at Gilbert, "He was my father sir, he spoke highly of you."

"You say spoke which means."

"Yeah he passed a few years back, drunk driver plowed into him."

"I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Saunders."

"Before you go I have a question, how do you kill a wendigo?"

Gilbert produced a card from seemingly thin air and handed it over to the young boarder guard, "You call me Mr. Saunders, you call me." The young man smiled and waved them on. Gilbert wasted no time beyond the boarder, he once again was not concerned by traffic laws.

"Thought you were in a hurry, why not be demanding to the young man?"

"In a hurry doesn't mean you have to be rude Clarissa, I knew of Saunders daddy dying, but I never got to say my condolences." Clarissa was confused by the whole thing, but Gilbert wasn't and that would have to be enough. They made good time with it being so late at night and Gilbert seemingly knowing the way despite claiming not to, in short order they were pulling up alongside a sign that proclaimed "Geode Creek" camp site.

"Why are we parking way down here, there is still road?" Gilbert had already gone to the back of the van and was busy pulling out his tools.

"Killed something like this before, we park up there the damned thing is more likely to rip the engine out of the van and I'm not going to get that repaired again, don't have the time or the money." Gilbert had the bone of the repentant sinner and had applied what Clarissa could only assume was the virgin semen, she hoped it didn't have to be fresh for it to work. She also saw he had a shoulder holster on along with large revolver of some type that he was checking the load of.

"Thought you said all you need is the bone and some loser jizz?"

"Virgin jizz, not loser, losers can have sex as my brother continued to prove up until his untimely demise." Clarissa had gotten out of the van now though she didn't know what she'd do against whatever Paul was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry to hear that about your brother, was he killed by a monster and that's what brought you into the business." Gilbert laughed.

"Ha no, damn fool drank and drove and crashed into a telephone pole."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah I hear the power was down for a few hours, I felt so bad for those people." Clarissa didn't need to hear more to assume Gilbert and his dead brother were not friends. They moved on from the sign through the woods, avoiding the road. Gilbert once again seemed to know where he was going, where Clarissa just kept running into every tree branch possible. Clarissa had never been a fan of the woods, and skulking around them with Gilbert she felt even less happy to be there.

"How do you know where you're going?"

"I've been here before, Frank and I used to go up fishing here, I never put two and two together until on the drive. I screwed up Clarissa, I thought he just liked fishing in canada, I never put it together he was looking for this Paul thing and brought me along as back up. I bet if you look into it you could find one of Paul's victim's is a young woman named Charlene. Frank had a daughter used to talk about her a bunch when were coming up together. He stopped a few years back and I figured it was out of respect for me since my wife and I never had a child, never got around to it. I didn't think that she got killed up here and Frank was looking for her killer."

"You don't know that, you assume you can't kn..." They had broken through the forest and into the camp area. Clarissa lost the words, there were 6 cabins in a half circle. She didn't see bodies, but she saw violence. Three vans of audio visual equipment most like for the ghost show were all trashed, the camera equipment distributed near by. The Cabins themselves also looked in equal destruction. Whatever "Paul" was, he was very powerful.

"Quiet, use your ears, damned things like this sneak up on you, and stay close, we don't want to split up, that's what it wants." Clarissa felt like a little girl with her dad creeping up on the camp. She didn't even know what Gilbert expected her to do, but she felt assured he knew what to do. They approached the cabin closest to them and Gilbert went to look inside. Clarissa stayed outside but in his visual range. It was too dark for her to see anything but Gilbert.

"Oh god I think I see some blood out here Gil, definitely looks too much to just be like a cut." Inside the cabin after his eyes adjusted Gilbert saw corpses, a lot of corpses. Seven people who looked like they had been brutally hacked to death and strung up from their own entrails.

"Yeah uhh keep calm Clarissa, and don't come in here."

"Why what's in there?"

"A lot more than just blood." Gilbert backed out of the cabin. He had instinctively already pulled the bone up like a vampire hunter in an old Hammer film. Clarissa found herself backing up with him and that took her over the side of the small railing and into the dirt with a thwomp. Her butt hurt, but mostly her pride was the real injury.

"You ok?"

"Yeah just landed on my ass, you sure Paul is around here?"

"It's around, these things tend to stick around waiting for more victims, which is what we are."

"Great Gil, glad I signed on to work for you."

"It's not all goblins, you think this is bad, dragons are worse."

"Gil what would Paul look like?"

"I dunno probably big and scary looking, with something obscuring his face and some kind of bladed weapon from what I saw in there."

"Like a dude in a welders mask with a fire ax."

"That's oddly specific," Gilbert sighed, "He's right behind me isn't he."

"Yep just standing there staring at me, or at least I think he's staring at me hard to tell with the mask." Gilbert sighed again. Paul just stood there ax clasped in his hands looking at his next two victims.

"This is going to be messy Clarissa, be careful." Gilbert reached up for his revolver and made a guess on where Paul was standing and pulled the trigger. The bullet surprised Paul and he stumbled backwards. Clarissa panicked and went to run, Paul seeing his victim running away threw his fire ax at her, the handle wrapped itself in her legs and she came crashing to the dirt, the wind knocked out of her. Paul stalked towards her with Gilbert giving chase though the creature was faster than he was. Paul had already snatched Clarissa up from the ground and was preparing to give her his version of a haircut when Gilbert impaled him with the bone. Clarissa got the brunt of the blood gushing out of Paul's chest, it coated her entire face and chest. The creatures grip of her was relinquished, it collapsed on the ground and she hit her feet roughly.

"This shit never ends does it." Clarissa wiped the blood from her face and walked away from Paul's body.

"Nope not really, reminds me of the time," Gilbert took out his pipe and lit up a smoke, "I was after a Gonju." Clarissa watched on in horror behind Gilbert, Paul had started to move.

"Uhh Gil."

"Gonju are nasty little suckers, breed like rabbits, eat fucking everything."

"Gil!" Paul had almost gotten to his feet and had gotten his axe back.

"It's rude to interrupt Clarissa."

"He's," Gilbert turned around lightning fast and fired another shot into Paul, this one through where the bone had gone.

"Not fully dead yet, yeah I got that, ninety percent of the time the bone will do, but sometimes, sometimes you have to help them along the way." Gilbert popped the revolvers cylinder out and withdrew the two spent casings. He then reached up underneath Paul's mask and made a sour face as he fumbled around eventually finishing what he was doing, he pulled his hand out which was now covered in some kind of slime.

"What did you just do?"

"Put the casings in his mouth, helps complete the curse that was etched on the bullets. Now if you excuse me I have to find something to wash my hand because I don't even know what's on my hand, and I want it gone." Clarissa agreed she too would like to find a sink to rid herself of Paul. And so the exterminators washed themselves of the monster.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Proper Research


"Get my laptop in the back, need to do some research." Gilbert was stopped at a light just shy of midnight. Clarissa thought it was stupid to stop at a light with no one around in the middle of nowhere, but Gilbert was the type that obeyed rules when no one was watching and she felt it was a waste of an argument.

"You're driving?"

"Yes which is why I told you to get my laptop so that you can do the research." Clarissa felt kind of dumb, but blamed it on how long they'd been up. The laptop was sitting on top of a green box that had one hand written sign on it "Do Not Open", it was a fairly large box that Clarissa had missed when she'd previously looked in the back of the van.

"What's in the box back there?"

"Don't you worry about it, now look up Geode Creek, something isn't sitting right with me here." Clarissa didn't like how he dismissed her question about the green box, but figured like everything else, she'd get to it in time.

"This is a real nice laptop." Clarissa had opened it up and was amazed at how modern and expensive it was.

"Don't say it like that, that's the way the salesman said it when I picked it out, you're implying its too nice for a dumb old man like me to have or want. I'll have you know I choose my tools carefully Clarissa, and that laptop like any other item in my kit has saved me, and just like those items I take care of it."

"I'm sorry Gil I didn't mean to imply you're old or out of touch."

"Well I'm both of those things, but I can at least figure out technology." Gilbert smiled to release the tension and Clarissa went to work on researching Geode Creek. Her initial search turned up basic information about the recent slayings. No real information on who the killer was or where they found the victims. Clarissa thought it a bit odd that information was missing, especially from the media which always tended to make killings front page stuff.

"Gilbert I'm confused."

"The media is in on it, no I'm not a psychic, you're wondering why nine people getting killed wasn't a story you heard about, why its not a bigger story in general, because what killed those people wasn't a person, or wasn't a person any longer, you'll have to go beyond the press here, crank websites and the like, I know it sounds stupid, but its how we do this job, relying on hearsay as truth and ignoring truths because those are just clever lies."

"Prior to killing some goblins with you Gil, I'd have thought you were pretty crazy with that."

"Prior to me killing monsters of my own, I'd be right along with you."

"Ok ignoring real media, there is this guy 'The real Truth of Geode Creek', he says that the nine deaths are just more in a pattern of death up there dating back to 1959. He said it started with the death of some maintenance worker in a prank gone wrong, all told forty eight people have been supposedly killed by a creature named 'Paul'."

"Paul doesn't sound threatening at all, I knew a Paul once nice guy bit of a drinker though."

"Focus Gil, reading here it sounds like Paul is."

"Some kind of resurrected vengeful corpse monster out to overly punish people who didn't actually wrong him, yeah that's a thing. I have a bone of a repentant sinner and some semen from a virgin in the truck, pierce his heart and that's all she wrote most of the time, starting to worry about where they are getting the semen though, I mean you kids these days so sexually liberated, virgins are harde"


"I don't think its like sexual assault, I just think it has to be some kind of false pretenses"


"What? Sorry got lost in my thoughts again."

"What was the name of that guy you were looking for? Your exterminator friend?"

"Frank Murphy."

"Because it says that the guy who runs the real truth hired a supposed monster exterminator to show him the real story on Geode Creek, and he's got a picture here of a guy in workman stuff with a 'Frank' name tag." Gilbert put his foot on the gas, he didn't have to see the picture to know it was Frank.

"Aren't you worried about the speed limit?"

"Not anymore, got a creature to kill and a friend to save."