157.
"Everyone always wants to know where a dragon comes from, no one ever asks how a dragon winds up Wyoming." Roy had set out some coffee and crackers on his coffee table, Clarissa was hesitant to eat food from a supernatural creature.
"Well one does seem like the more interesting question."
"Dragons are born like anything else, we live, and then we fuck up and end up in a shit place like Wyoming."
"Can't you just leave?"
"No, even if I wanted to, by order of the dragon council I must remain here, sure I can vacation, or visit other places, but I must return here within a few days or face their wrath." Clarissa was confused by everything in what he said, especially the Dragon Council part.
"Dragon Council? Why would you be banished to Wyoming." Roy leaned back and put his feet up on the table.
"Well I kind of tried to overthrow the council, instead of killing me they banished me here a fate worse than death. Though none of this has anything to do with why there is a hell portal on my property."
"You say there is a hell portal on your property, we still haven't found that yet." Roy sighed.
"True maybe I just brought you here to lament its hard to be a dragon."
"Not exactly a therapist, but eh you're paying my fee." At that they both laughed. They didn't know what to say, so they both drank coffee and sat in Roy's living room. Clarissa noticed he didn't have a tv or a pc anywhere, she figured dragon's must like books.
"Do you smell that?" Roy seemed to be slightly alarmed when he stood up.
"Nah I have a cold or something I can't smell anything, what's it smell like."
"Sulfur." Clarissa got up off the couch and took up her bow, she had a couple arrows she knew would work against something from hell, but she wasn't sure that's what this was. Something about this whole situation felt wrong in a way she couldn't put her finger on.
"Where?"
"All around us? I can't make it out specifically." Clarissa went to the front door and saw a rather large looking portal surrounded by demons.
"Yeah that's a portal to hell why didn't you tell me you had one?" Roy laughed a little bit despite also being scared, Dragons were not immortal by any means and creatures from hell tended to bring a lot of things low.
"So what am I looking at here?"
"Well one portal, fifteen demons, I'm thinking at least five grand."
"Five grand? That's extortion."
"That's business Roy, I mean if you like I could just leave the portal here?"
"Fine fine, just I want a cashback guarantee no more demons or portals to hell for at least five years."
"3 years."
"Deal."
Friday, January 24, 2020
Friday, January 17, 2020
Looking For Hell In All the Wrong Places
156.
The portal to hell wasn't anywhere. Clarissa and Roy had walked the whole property over and found nothing. Clarissa didn't think Roy was lying, but she didn't know what to think of people anymore, let alone why they would or could lie, so she was left without too many options. Roy for his part looked sheepish at each new didn't find anything discovery. Clarissa could see how he felt embarrassed, though she was also getting kind of suspicious of him. The whole farm was massive, and yet she hadn't seen another person or anything suggesting other people worked there. And she couldn't even tell what kind of farm it was.
Like he had a barn clearly and animals that had been eaten/killed, but Clarissa didn't understand what kind of farm he was running. He was not producing food based on her not seeing any kind of harvesting equipment, or silos to store it in. As she walked the property she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach the cowboy wasn't who he seemed, or even what he seemed. She hadn't really given him a second look since coming out to his property. He had looked like a cowboy, a big hat, gun on a holster, a sequin shirt. But now that she thought of it, he looked like a cowboy cowboy, like one from before and not a more recent version. They were riding back to his ranch house when she could sense he knew she suspected him.
"You're not super observant normally are you?" She went to pull her gun, but he already had his out, the truck was stopped and it was pointing at her. It was an old timey looking thing, shined up, but deadly all the same.
"What are you?"
"A dragon." He said it so casually it almost caught her off guard.
"What's going on here?"
"Like I said portal to hell."
"That we can't find."
"And don't that make me feel silly, but I'm no liar, and I didn't bring you here for a nefarious reason just to get rid of the portal to hell." He turned the gun around to her butt first to show his sincerity.
"Why didn't you lead with being a dragon?"
"You didn't really ask, and its not like I hide it, look how I'm dressed." Clarissa could feel her face go flush.
"So that's how you knew all those sigils."
"I'm sure you could find them on the internet if you really wanted to, but yes. I am still perplexed by the mystery though Clarissa, I know you don't have the best of luck with my people, but if you are willing I'd really like to find out what happened to that portal to hell."
"Sure Roy, if that is your real name."
"It isn't, but I don't think you're vocal chords can pronounce my real name."
The portal to hell wasn't anywhere. Clarissa and Roy had walked the whole property over and found nothing. Clarissa didn't think Roy was lying, but she didn't know what to think of people anymore, let alone why they would or could lie, so she was left without too many options. Roy for his part looked sheepish at each new didn't find anything discovery. Clarissa could see how he felt embarrassed, though she was also getting kind of suspicious of him. The whole farm was massive, and yet she hadn't seen another person or anything suggesting other people worked there. And she couldn't even tell what kind of farm it was.
Like he had a barn clearly and animals that had been eaten/killed, but Clarissa didn't understand what kind of farm he was running. He was not producing food based on her not seeing any kind of harvesting equipment, or silos to store it in. As she walked the property she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach the cowboy wasn't who he seemed, or even what he seemed. She hadn't really given him a second look since coming out to his property. He had looked like a cowboy, a big hat, gun on a holster, a sequin shirt. But now that she thought of it, he looked like a cowboy cowboy, like one from before and not a more recent version. They were riding back to his ranch house when she could sense he knew she suspected him.
"You're not super observant normally are you?" She went to pull her gun, but he already had his out, the truck was stopped and it was pointing at her. It was an old timey looking thing, shined up, but deadly all the same.
"What are you?"
"A dragon." He said it so casually it almost caught her off guard.
"What's going on here?"
"Like I said portal to hell."
"That we can't find."
"And don't that make me feel silly, but I'm no liar, and I didn't bring you here for a nefarious reason just to get rid of the portal to hell." He turned the gun around to her butt first to show his sincerity.
"Why didn't you lead with being a dragon?"
"You didn't really ask, and its not like I hide it, look how I'm dressed." Clarissa could feel her face go flush.
"So that's how you knew all those sigils."
"I'm sure you could find them on the internet if you really wanted to, but yes. I am still perplexed by the mystery though Clarissa, I know you don't have the best of luck with my people, but if you are willing I'd really like to find out what happened to that portal to hell."
"Sure Roy, if that is your real name."
"It isn't, but I don't think you're vocal chords can pronounce my real name."
Friday, January 10, 2020
The Cowboy
155.
"I just got back from an annoying thing, can we do this some other time?" Clarissa didn't need to know what the cowboy wanted, the way he dressed told her it wasn't anything she wanted.
"Can't do that, I need your help, I was told this is something you do."
"What help can you even need?"
"I got a portal to hell on my property."
"I'm listening."
****
Roy had made the trip from Wyoming (Clarissa actually laughed a little when she heard his name was Roy). He had made an assumption about the portal being to hell, just he had a portal that was putting out scary things and the DSA was refusing to help because he wouldn't sign away part of his property for their "investigation." Clarissa was mostly interested in the portal to hell, but that the DSA wanted it for an investigation had her hackles up after the recent unpleasantness.
"It's over here." The portal had appeared in a barn, killed all the animals inside, Roy had "locked it up" as he claimed with some sigils he'd found on the internet. Clarissa was almost amused at that being a thing now.
"You found these sigils on the internet? Yikes." They were a hodge podge of several religions in Clarissa's estimate, some she'd seen Gilbert use, most seemed useless, but a couple good ones had kept the things inside at bay.
"They worked didn't they?"
"Worked is a stretch, held is more likely, some of these are very dangerous, like they won't do anything against a creature, but a person who didn't know what they were doing, blow you up."
"Really?"
"Really, this is like a bomb of spiritual power, you have to be careful with it Roy." Clarissa had found herself always warning people now in the new world about playing around with all the shit they previously thought was just dumb stuff in movies and games. She'd already seen it end tragically.
"Well next time I'm facing demons from the pits of hell I'll call you Clarissa and you can tell me the optimal way to keep them locked up." Clarissa peaked into the barn and didn't see anything, she could see the bodies of farm animals, but no portal, no demons.
"You sure was in there?"
"Yes?" Roy himself looked between the slats and was surprised to not see anything.
"Ok I know this looks bad, but I swear there was a portal to hell in there."
"But its not there now."
"It would appear so." Clarissa sighed, she knew this was a bad job, and it just got worse.
"I just got back from an annoying thing, can we do this some other time?" Clarissa didn't need to know what the cowboy wanted, the way he dressed told her it wasn't anything she wanted.
"Can't do that, I need your help, I was told this is something you do."
"What help can you even need?"
"I got a portal to hell on my property."
"I'm listening."
****
Roy had made the trip from Wyoming (Clarissa actually laughed a little when she heard his name was Roy). He had made an assumption about the portal being to hell, just he had a portal that was putting out scary things and the DSA was refusing to help because he wouldn't sign away part of his property for their "investigation." Clarissa was mostly interested in the portal to hell, but that the DSA wanted it for an investigation had her hackles up after the recent unpleasantness.
"It's over here." The portal had appeared in a barn, killed all the animals inside, Roy had "locked it up" as he claimed with some sigils he'd found on the internet. Clarissa was almost amused at that being a thing now.
"You found these sigils on the internet? Yikes." They were a hodge podge of several religions in Clarissa's estimate, some she'd seen Gilbert use, most seemed useless, but a couple good ones had kept the things inside at bay.
"They worked didn't they?"
"Worked is a stretch, held is more likely, some of these are very dangerous, like they won't do anything against a creature, but a person who didn't know what they were doing, blow you up."
"Really?"
"Really, this is like a bomb of spiritual power, you have to be careful with it Roy." Clarissa had found herself always warning people now in the new world about playing around with all the shit they previously thought was just dumb stuff in movies and games. She'd already seen it end tragically.
"Well next time I'm facing demons from the pits of hell I'll call you Clarissa and you can tell me the optimal way to keep them locked up." Clarissa peaked into the barn and didn't see anything, she could see the bodies of farm animals, but no portal, no demons.
"You sure was in there?"
"Yes?" Roy himself looked between the slats and was surprised to not see anything.
"Ok I know this looks bad, but I swear there was a portal to hell in there."
"But its not there now."
"It would appear so." Clarissa sighed, she knew this was a bad job, and it just got worse.
Friday, January 3, 2020
The DSA
154.
Their van had been there all day, no one had come to do anything about the creature in the house. But no sooner had Clarissa killed it than backup arrived. When she exited there were at least forty men with guns waiting for her. There was no love lost between her in the DSA in the new world, but she felt this was excessive. They handcuffed her and brought her to regional office. She was placed in an interview room and had to wait. Government loved to keep people waiting, it was something Clarissa felt every time she'd dealt with them since Gilbert's passing.
"Sorry about the wait we were doing inventory on your vehicle."
"Am I being charged with a crime?" The man who had come in was a tall thin white man, the kind of person who screamed career bureaucrat.
"Should you be?" Clarissa never liked this I know what you don't style of interviewing.
"Well if I'm not under arrest than I want out of here I got shit to do."
"Not so fast." Clarissa slumped into her chair.
"We lost five people in that house, and yet you walked out of there no issue."
"You're agents suck, are we done here?"
"Sit down." The voice was more commanding now, Clarissa just didn't feel like she had the time to care about it. "Lot of good men lost their lives to your former employer, lot of good families are still in danger do to what he did."
"What you all did, Gilbert only took over for the government, but it was the government who were tromping into the fey in the first place, hell that creature that killed your men was some form of Imp, I imagine it held ill will after the recent unpleasantness."
"I don't like you, and you don't like me, independent contractors like you are dangerous, so stay out of the way of the DSA, or next time maybe we won't just arrest you, you can go." Clarissa wanted to say more to the thin man, but felt it was better to just leave it be. On the way out of the office someone handed her bags of her stuff they'd taken from her truck, the guy doing the handing was a rude asshole with a crew cut and a smirk like what he was doing was funny. Clarissa took her things, filled out the dumb paperwork that came with it and got down to her truck to leave.
The DSA office was in Seattle, so it took her a few hours to get back to Ellensburgh, by the time she was there it was very dark out. The wind was also howling fairly aggressively as it often did in the winter. Clarissa had barely sat down again before the door opened and the cowboy stepped inside.
"Its far too late in the day for this bullshit." The cowboy tipped up his hat and smiled.
"Sister you don't know the half of it."
Their van had been there all day, no one had come to do anything about the creature in the house. But no sooner had Clarissa killed it than backup arrived. When she exited there were at least forty men with guns waiting for her. There was no love lost between her in the DSA in the new world, but she felt this was excessive. They handcuffed her and brought her to regional office. She was placed in an interview room and had to wait. Government loved to keep people waiting, it was something Clarissa felt every time she'd dealt with them since Gilbert's passing.
"Sorry about the wait we were doing inventory on your vehicle."
"Am I being charged with a crime?" The man who had come in was a tall thin white man, the kind of person who screamed career bureaucrat.
"Should you be?" Clarissa never liked this I know what you don't style of interviewing.
"Well if I'm not under arrest than I want out of here I got shit to do."
"Not so fast." Clarissa slumped into her chair.
"We lost five people in that house, and yet you walked out of there no issue."
"You're agents suck, are we done here?"
"Sit down." The voice was more commanding now, Clarissa just didn't feel like she had the time to care about it. "Lot of good men lost their lives to your former employer, lot of good families are still in danger do to what he did."
"What you all did, Gilbert only took over for the government, but it was the government who were tromping into the fey in the first place, hell that creature that killed your men was some form of Imp, I imagine it held ill will after the recent unpleasantness."
"I don't like you, and you don't like me, independent contractors like you are dangerous, so stay out of the way of the DSA, or next time maybe we won't just arrest you, you can go." Clarissa wanted to say more to the thin man, but felt it was better to just leave it be. On the way out of the office someone handed her bags of her stuff they'd taken from her truck, the guy doing the handing was a rude asshole with a crew cut and a smirk like what he was doing was funny. Clarissa took her things, filled out the dumb paperwork that came with it and got down to her truck to leave.
The DSA office was in Seattle, so it took her a few hours to get back to Ellensburgh, by the time she was there it was very dark out. The wind was also howling fairly aggressively as it often did in the winter. Clarissa had barely sat down again before the door opened and the cowboy stepped inside.
"Its far too late in the day for this bullshit." The cowboy tipped up his hat and smiled.
"Sister you don't know the half of it."
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