The Fifth Trip

45.

"I really wish you wouldn't do this." Sheriff Marta, or as the young deputy called her when he said he'd get her Sheriff M, was a woman older than Gilbert. She had the look of someones grandmother, she looked out of place in a police uniform with a gun, though Gilbert told Clarissa looks can be deceiving and Marta was about as hard heeled as she looked kind.

"Marta I got a duty to do."

"The fuck you do, you know what's in those woods, you been up there enough Gilbert, each time you go I see a little more of you left behind, don't you remember what happened last time?"

"I know what happened last time Marta, I got Clarissa here with me, I'll be fine." Marta spit.

"That's another god damn thing, why are you bringing someone else up in those damned things, so determined to kill yourself want to bring a witness?"

"Grown woman makes her own decisions."

"Fine, you big idiot, then go I already told Hansen his sister was dead, only gave him your name hoping you'd talk him out of searching not go up there yourself." Gilbert went to leave the Sheriff's office, he nodded as he left.

"It was nice seeing you again Marta, be a shame when you retire."

"You won't be around to see it exterminator, go before I arrest you." Gilbert and Clarissa made their way out of the sheriff's station and into the van. Gilbert got out his pipe and had a smoke before starting the van back up, it was the first time Clarissa had seen him smoke prior to a job.

"You can always leave, you don't have to go up there with me." Gilbert had stopped the van at gas station, behind it looming like a bad dream was the woods.

"I'm afraid Gilbert not going to lie, but before I make a choice I want you to tell me what happened on those fourth and fifth trips." Gilbert looked away from her for a moment, she couldn't tell if it was to think or plan a lie.

"Fourth time was nothing, I went up there feeling sick to begin with, the family had told me they'd been missing for two weeks and didn't even know if the guy was in the woods, so I went up looked around found shit went home told them I searched all day when I did nothing of the sort, I didn't feel too bad about that one," Gilbert let a huge puff of smoke out the window, "That fifth trip, that's when shit really went south fast..."

****

I was looking for a young boy, its what got me out there again. Someone who had been on a fishing trip with his dad and gotten lost or so they thought. I don't know what idiot thought to fish up near the woods, but these are the kind of things you see in hindsight you didn't see the first time. It had been less than a day since the kid had gone missing. Marta hoped if I got out there early enough I might find a trace, I'd found the Smith boy within a couple days, she figured even sooner might make it possible.

Something felt off from the start, the woods smelled and I'd never smelled shit before. It's why I knew something was really wrong. I didn't hear music, but I don't think anyone had ever come across what I did in the woods and lived to tell anyone about it. I had cleared what I called the "sound line" the line in the forest where sounds of the forest had dropped off and the quiet of those deep woods existed. The smell started bad and got worse as I went, and then the smoke was there. Like being in a fog, I should have left then, figured some how a fire had started and prayed it took that evil place with it. But I knew it wasn't real, that no real fire could exist in that place without being allowed, so I pushed on.

I came across a clearing, that being rare enough in these woods, with eight people being burned on stakes. I didn't recognize all eight, but I knew at least three of them including the former Sheriff Powell who'd been missing going on twenty years. They were all screaming and begging for help. I didn't hestitate I ran, I didn't hear the music but I felt it was coming along with the carnival barker and his evil call. I knew they were dead, couldn't even be alive, but I was also worried I was wrong and I left those men to die when I ran away.

The problem for me was the smoke, it distorted and threw me off. I thought I was running out of the forest, but I ran deeper in. Just got lost entirely. I knew I was fucked when I saw how dark it had gotten. I had never been in that forest after dark and I hadn't even thought to bring a flash light. I thought it was bad before, I was wrong, the carnival barker was the forest playing nice. At night it really came alive. I could hear the heart beat of the place, an actual beating heart drumming along in my ears. Every branch or cloister of trees felt like arms and hands reaching out to me. I kept walking though, I felt a desire to keep moving, if I stopped I sensed something would get me. I'd hear the music and know it would be it for me. So I kept moving through tree branches, sticker bushes, and everything else. The forest felt like a creature tearing at my clothes as I blindly smashed through in the dark.

I knew the place was evil, I just didn't know how it could trap you. I figured if I kept walking I'd make it out, make it to something like the mountains or a clearing or something. But no, it was just more forest. I never changed my direction, never went in circles, but I wasn't getting out. I started to worry if that's what happened to all the people I'd not been able to find, if I'd run across one of them, hair all wild, naked, barely any flesh on their bones wondering if I was an illusion or not. I had never felt that alone in the world, not since my wife had died. Just stomping through the forest, not eating, not drinking, not even having to take a piss. Always feeling like something was right behind me, but too afraid at that point to turn around.

It came as a bit of a shock to my system when I almost barreled into Marta. She was crouched talking to a horrifying creature. It was all flesh and bone like the carnival barker. I could see an ugly bone claw reaching up near Marta's neck as she cooed at it that everything would be ok. She didn't even see me, she was so focused on the creature and trying to sooth it. She went to pick it up and I screamed.

"MARTA NO!!!" And crashed into her, the creature's bone claw sliced down her neck, you didn't see it when she was in her office because she uses make up and wears turtle neck shirts, but she's got a scar running from just under her earlobe to her breast bone from what that thing did to her. I picked her up and started running now. I couldn't see the creature, but I got the sense I'd interrupted it and much like when Tyler Smith had saved me it wouldn't pursue us. I was of course still as hell, and figured I'd keep running through the woods until my legs gave out and Marta died from her wound, but that didn't happen. Somehow I got out, got Marta to the hospital and saved her life as she had saved mine.

Took me a month to fully recover. Apparently I'd been eating leaves and pine cones and shit while I was lost. I don't recall doing it, but I sure as hell started crapping things out of myself I never want to see again. Along with the tree stuff was a black sludge, don't know what that that was, don't want to know. After the month I was mostly fine, still had the occasional dream when I'd wake up scared I was back in the woods, but those have faded in time.

****

"So that's the fifth trip, and now we're back." Gilbert had gassed the van up and bought some snacks from the clerk who seemed skittish for no good reason to Clarissa.

"Why would you ever want to go back here Gilbert?"

"Because I'm hearing music Clarissa, been hearing it for a couple months now, faint at first, but I'd wake up in the middle of the night hearing that carnival music, I'd look out in the direction of the woods from my porch and I'd see him standing there, the carnival man, and he's not alone, standing next to him are the ones I didn't get back. As the month's have gone on more and more people are being added to those next to him. I don't know if those are the ones who have been lost, or the ones to be lost. I have to go back, one way or another, go to stop the music."

When You Hear Music, Run

44.

"This will be my sixth time up in them woods, on my previous five trips, I only found one person, and that one was," Gilbert paused for a moment, "Well he came back wrong best I can say it, he's still alive last I heard, and his parents are doing their best, but what's in them woods isn't a normal creature, it takes things from you." The two exterminators were on a ferry at the moment, the sun was going down. Gilbert had informed Clarissa they wouldn't be going into the woods till the morning, he didn't dare start out at night.

"Is it some kind of ancient spirit, like something native american?" Gilbert smiled.

"You went the same place I did on my first trip up there, I checked a local reservation figuring someone had cursed the place, maybe I could get it removed? They knew the place, knew the evil there, but it was there before their people had ever come from wherever they came from. They put me in touch with the only person to ever come back from them woods. He was old, up over the age of 98, didn't speak, when I ran across him he'd moved to just outside of the woods, lived in a small cabin his grand daughter helped maintain. She told me he hadn't talked to anyone in over five years, spent most of his time sitting on the porch in a rocking chair just staring into the woods. I asked my questions, he didn't say anything, I was about to leave when I told him I was going into those woods, and that's when he snatched my arm strength like a taught cable, he stared me right in the eyes and said 'When you hear music, run.'" Gilbert fell silent for a bit. Clarissa felt a chill run up her spine at the story, she could tell Gilbert was bothered by it. He himself was staring at the mountains, she could tell he was probably going back to those woods in his mind.

"For my first trip I wasn't alone, authorities hadn't learned to avoid the woods, we had search and rescue, sheriffs, even some fire fighters had joined the effort. I was just hired at the time because I'd worked for the sheriff once to kill a werewolf, so he knew that the woods could harbor things normal people didn't believe in. We had no idea what we were walking into. Lost five people in two days, never found a trace of them, they were just up and gone, including the sheriff who hired me. The second time out it was just me and Charlie, no one else would go. Charlie saw something in the woods I didn't, he wouldn't tell me what it was, but he never went back to them. Hell he didn't come back to the peninsula for any regular job, I never blamed him, I don't take jobs in wyoming either." Gilbert didn't say anything again. Clarissa was beginning to regret coming on this job.

"That third job though, it was just me, so I was already high strung. Those woods are deep and you start seeing things, hearing things, and you know you're hearing things, because those woods are quiet like the grave. Its the first thing you notice about when you get deep in, past the normal woods areas, past the birds, and squirrels and other shit, when you get in deep it gets quiet, real quiet," Gilbert considered his next words carefully, Clarissa had goose bumps all over her arm, "When I heard it at first I thought I was just hearing more shit, I swear I'd heard my mothers voice earlier in the day, but that music was unmistakeable, faint at first, just drifting on the wind and then it was all around me. You know carnival music? Loud and bombastic? It's what I heard, my father used to take me to carnivals as a young man, I loved it, loved seeing clowns and high wire acts, it was a grand ole time. This music put the chill into my spine. I'd forgotten about the old native american's warning up till then, and then it came flooding back and I was chilled to my core." A bird made a loud cawing sound from somewhere on the sound and both Clarissa and Gilbert got startled and laughed at the situation.

"Out of nowhere amidst this music was a carnival barker. He even had a little booth, I couldn't believe my eyes at first. I was dumb then, just a stupid fool who didn't run when he should have. 'Step right up, step right up, we have rides, we have thrills, we have stuff you ain't never seen, step right up sir' I was paralyzed, unable to move, unable to talk, and that barker had a look to him, something was off, I mean obviously because it was a carnival barker in the middle of the woods, but there was something else, something insidious about how he was looking at me. While I was staring at him his outfit changed, started small, fabric getting frayed, skin looking off. Soon enough his clothes were made from skin and bone, his own body that of a corpse. And I was being strangely drawn to him, I could feel my desire to go with him," Gilbert shuddered again and gathered his thoughts, "I probably would have gone with him if not for Tyler Smith, the young boy I was out there to find, he screamed at me no and I woke up like from a dream, I snatched him up and ran, I could hear the barker behind me making demented requests cursing my family but I paid him no mind. I just ran."

"When I got Tyler back home to his family he wasn't speaking, his hair was all white, all the boy would say is 'when you hear music, run' I heard that's all he does say now, though he hardly speaks. Just sits on the porch looking back to the woods, his family moved away, but he knows which direction to look, knows where to stare." Gilbert looked to the woods again, shivered and walked back to the van, the ferry ride was almost over.

"So what's the plan?"

"I booked some hotel rooms, we will set out in the morning, check in with the sheriff just to let her know we're going up there, she'll probably give me a song and dance like Doris did, and then we'll find Ms Hansen, or not, either way we will leave those woods by night time, but remember what I did not."

"When you hear music run."

"When you hear music run, good Clarissa you may outlive me yet." Clarissa didn't feel that, and couldn't help shake the feeling Gilbert had mentioned he'd been up there five times but only told her of three of them.

Into the Woods

43.

The front doors bell toned and Gilbert looked up from the exterminator catalog. He was all by himself. Doris and Clarissa had taken a personal day together to do something Gilbert didn't care to hear about and he'd been the one to hold down the fort. He had been flipping through the catalog for a few hours, deciding if he really wanted to order anything or just look.

"Excuse me?" The man had thick dark rimmed glasses, he was wearing a wrinkled suit the type you throw on for an unexpected funeral.

"Help you? We're running a discount on goblins and lesser demons, only lesser demons though, full blown exorcisms are still full price, hands are tied on that one catholic church rates, you understand." Gilbert didn't even really look up, he'd already been pestered by a couple people looking for a regular exterminator and he was tired of it already.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah catholic exorcisms are a damned racket, though I haven't found anything that works better, lesser demons I can get rid of easily enough, sanctify burn the little bastards with some holy water, but full blown demon stuff needs the big guns and big guns aren't cheap." Gilbert had tried to get Father Clarence to do an exorcism, but he said it wasn't his area of expertise.

"I'm not, I'm not here for an exorcism sir." Gilbert looked up from his catalog and gave the man a more serious appraisal. He looked sad more than anything, and that told Gilbert it wasn't a normal job he was calling about.

"How long have they been missing?" The man seemed taken back.

"What?"

"Had to have been the Jefferson County Sheriffs who told you to come to me, your suit looks like a long drive without a change of clothes and your face is red from crying, so someone is missing in the Olympic forest." The man didn't know how Gilbert had guessed all that but he felt a sense of relief.

"I just didn't know what an exterminator in eastern Washington could do, my sister, she went missing yesterday we were supposed to have dinner last night, I fear the worse."

"Hiking?"

"Ornithology its..."

"Study of birds I know, though no one studies birds in those woods, no one studies nothing."

"She thought people were just being superstitious." The man started to cry, and Gilbert came over and hugged him, he'd been in this position before, and everytime it broke his heart.

"Ain't no superstition about those woods, but I understand, and I can help you, but I want you to know I've been up there five times, I've only ever gotten one person out and even then there were changes."

"Anything you can do, anything." The man started deeply sobbing and Gilbert let him. It was a good hour before he left. He made sure to give Gilbert a picture of his sister even though Gilbert knew in his heart he wouldn't need one, he knew the woman was dead and he was wasting his time.

****

"No Gilbert you stubborn old man you will not go into the woods." Doris had never liked Gilbert going into the olympics, in the past she couched it in just a bad feeling, now with her elf heritage out she spoke from a position of the fae, it was an evil place.

"Got a job to do Doris, and its a job that needs done end of discussion."

"You are a fool Gilbert, a damned fool, that wood almost killed you a couple times and here you are. Do you even have a picture of this dead woman? You know she's dead, they all have to be." Gilbert showed her a picture Kathy Henson was written on the back.

"We all have jobs in life Doris, this one is mine."

"Then you do it alone, leave Clarissa here, she can continue the business when whatever is up there kills you."

"I can make my own decisions." Doris looked at Clarissa with anger, and then pulled out a photo album from underneath the counter. She flipped through pictures that looked as old as civil war photography to more recent modern day shots.

"Over a hundred people that we know of have gone into those woods and never came back Clarissa, what's there is not meant to be disturbed, its not meant to be bothered, it just is, leave it where it is."

"You make your own choices Clarissa, I'm going, you don't have to." Clarissa looked over the pictures, most of them were adults, but some were children young looking children at that.

"I'm going."

"Screw both of you, I will not mourn you." Doris slammed the album shut and stomped back into the office.

"Let her go Clarissa, we got a long drive ahead of us."

"Don't we need to get gear or anything?"

"We'll get some warm coats from the house, everything else ain't worth a damn in them woods."

Courting Disaster

42.

"I think we're done here." It had been hours, Gilbert was tired, the man in the suit was tired, and they were getting no where.

"Is that to say I can leave?" The man stared for a minute and then the door opened.

"Free man, but do please try and avoid future wars with the god damn fae courts." Gilbert stood up his legs creaking from sitting.

"No promises." Outside the door Clarissa was waiting, she had there stuff from when they'd been arrested. Gilbert didn't say anything though clearly Clarissa wanted to talk, he waited until they'd gotten into the van and were down the road from the military base before he said anything.

"So you want to know what happened?"

"Yeah I'm so confused, I mean I told them everything I know and I don't know anything, how did we start a war with the autumn court?"

"Well we didn't, summer and autumn are already at war, as are winter and spring, we just kind of stepped in one through deception."

"Who deceived us?"

"Pretty sure it was god damn everyone on this one."

****

Arrows were stuck near the ground. The autumn ambush had been almost picture perfect, most of the escort was dead, Gilbert, Rolo, and Clarissa were crouched behind the shields of the fallen hoping to survive. Rolo was more than a little upset.

"YOU SET THIS UP!"

"Yes Rolo I arranged for you to carry us through this specific passage in the fae on the way to my office so I could die to your enemies, it was my brilliant plan to die to the court of autumn." The arrows stopped, that scared Gilbert more than anything, when your enemies aren't showing you where they are, they become unpredictable.

"Man, you can leave, we only want Rolo." It was some kind of gutteral creature, the word barely intelligible.

"Nice knowing you Rolo." Rolo grabbed Gilbert by the arm his eyes desperate.

"You can't leave me here, you don't know what they'll do to me."

"Kill you probably, but I don't know what you want me to do about it, I'm unarmed, Clarissa is unarmed, and we aren't anywhere near the office, we're in the fae."

"I can rip us out of the fae, I don't know where we'll be, but it'll be a far sight better than here." Gilbert smiled, he figured Rolo had a way out he wasn't using.

"Do it."

****

"And so as you know we wound up in a military base and may have inadvertently caused a minor scuffle with the court of autumn and the US government."

"No I got that, I'm still confused how Doris fits into this."

"We're about to find out."

It took Gilbert a few hours to drive from the military base back to his office. All told they'd been gone over a day and a half from when they were supposed to be back in a few hours. Gilbert was expecting to find his office in disarray or at the very least Doris upset. He was mildly perturbed when he came in to find her watching tv at her desk.

"Oh Janice you can do so much better than Jerome."

"Doris! We've been gone over a god damned day and this is where I find you just watching tv at your desk which I told you to specifically not to do." Doris just rolled her eyes.

"You guys are always over due or late, I swear Gilbert I'm not going to get the national guard every time you get lost in the woods." Gilbert was beyond angry but Clarissa couldn't help but laugh.

"Doris we were kidnapped by elves of the summer court who told me quite a tale about you! Are you an elf?"

"Yeah? I listed other on race when I submitted my job application, you never asked I figured you knew."

"This whole time?"

"Why do you think I wear my hair like I do? have to cover my ears, people always making jokes, it gets very tiresome." Gilbert had to sit down in one of the chairs in the lobby, he was just so overwhelmed by the situation in general.

"I think it's cool you're an elf Doris," Clarissa spoke up while Gilbert collected his thoughts.

"Thank you dear, so what did the Summer Court want anyway?"

"They accused you of being a traitor, that you sold them out to the autumn court." Clarissa had stepped up while Gilbert just held his head in his hands.

"Probably Queen Lustria right? She's the real traitor, probably arranged the whole thing to kill Rolo my half brother."

"Yeah he almost got killed in an ambush!"

"Well there you go, need to talk to Rolo, guy always was a headstrong fool, well I'm glad you guys are ok, well mostly Gilbert looks a little green under the gills, might want to take him home."

"That's an excellent idea, I need to rest, take some time, stop watching god damn tv though Doris I mean it." Doris rolled her eyes again, waited till Gilbert and Clarissa had gotten back into the van and then went back to her program.

"Janice! Don't you tell me you are having Jeromes baby!"