101.
Doris opened the office and was greeted with a gush of cold air.
"Gilbert if you are going to leave a window open in winter this shit is going to happ...." The rest of her complaint died as she saw inside. The office was coated in seaweed. Doris didn't know what had happened, but she knew whatever it was, Gilbert, and probably Clarissa were in trouble, she only hoped they both knew that as well.
****
"Do you even know where you're going?" The interior of the ship looked better than the outside, but Gilbert kept feeling something was off but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"I know where I'm going Gilbert don't you worry none, like father always said trust to god."
"I don't see what that..." But Captain Carl started singing a song and ignored Gilbert's plea. Gilbert left Carl to his steering and went to where Clarissa was. Something about the ship was making her violently ill.
"So where's the fog?" Clarissa's voice was haggard from all the vomiting.
"I don't know, something else been bothering me, haven't been able to put it to words."
"Oh please Gilbert, please tell me while were trapped on a ship looking for fog in the middle of nowhere, that something else is wrong." Gilbert chuckled and Clarissa vomited again.
"I just feel kind of funny."
"Funny ha ha or funny we're going to die?"
"Something feels off here, I just I don't know, I was trying to remember something about Carl and I couldn't, but I know there's something there, and then I tried to look him up on my cell phone and..."
"... And you didn't have a signal? Yeah mines shit too, I chalked it up to the water and the boat, but that doesn't make sense I've been on a ferry and they worked." Gilbert considered that for a moment and then something about hearing ferry shook something loose in his head and his face showed it.
"Oh god, oh we are in some shit now."
"What? What Gilbert tell me?" Clarissa hadn't seen Gilbert get like this and it scared her.
"I remembered Carl now, he went missing back in the 80's, off the coast near that god damn forest."
"Shit."
"Right? So either he just got lost for a bit, or there was no fog and we were tricked into coming on to the water with something the forest sent after us." No sooner had Gilbert said it then the fog seemed to be all around the ship.
"Or option 3, there is fog, we're stuck on the ship with a creature that controls it and the ship."
"I hate option 3."
Friday, December 28, 2018
Friday, December 21, 2018
Foggy Bottom Boys
100.
"I don't think we can literally fight the weather Gilbert."
"It's not the weather girl, its unnatural the kind of fog that can drain a man dry in seconds." The old ship captain talked like a cliche old pirate.
"Carl here knows his fog's Clarissa, I trust him." Carl had been the first client after thanksgiving for GD exterminators. Doris was still on family leave, but this was normal she usually took Christmas time off.
"As I was saying, there's an evil fog out there Gilbert, not caused by no ghosts or anything else I've ever seen in all my years. Navy ain't talking about it, but they lost a whole crew of men to it shipping out of Bremerton. Just ship went into the fog full of crew, came out of the fog empty, picked clean." Gilbert hadn't been contacted by anyone in the military, but it didn't surprise him considering the current state of affairs.
"When did it show up?"
"Shortly after that fire up on the peninsula." Gilbert sucked air between his teeth. He was afraid of something like this, knew it was coming, but a fog? That was a different kind of thing than what he'd expected.
"It's why I'm here Gilbert, I heard you were involved in that, I knew the evil of those woods, but I didn't think that they could manifest on the water like they are now, or I assume they are now."
"You still got that old rust heap on the coast?"
"Gassed up and ready for you." Gilbert nodded and Captain Carl nodded and then left. Clarissa was left just wondering what happened.
****
"This is a bad idea Gilbert, the forest was one thing, but evil fog on ocean? That sounds like it would be worse."
"Can't just leave the problem for someone else Clarissa, that ain't my way." Gilbert didn't want to tell her how afraid he was. The evil in the woods was bad, worse than most things he'd dealt with, and now it was spreading to a new thing, which was mobile.
"Call the government."
"This government? You must be joking, even if I could convince my old unit to help, I don't think they are equipped for this, hell I don't even know if I am, and I understand if you want to stay behind on this one."
"I'm going, I just don't think we should Gilbert, this almost killed you once and that was on land."
"We'll be fine, Carl's an excellent captain, though it has been some years since I've been on one of his ships, I'm sure its in perfect quality."
****
Carl's ship was a rusted wreck of a barely functioning vessel when Gilbert got a look at it. He could hear Clarissa chuckling behind him when they had come down the pier with their gear.
"Shit."
"I don't think we can literally fight the weather Gilbert."
"It's not the weather girl, its unnatural the kind of fog that can drain a man dry in seconds." The old ship captain talked like a cliche old pirate.
"Carl here knows his fog's Clarissa, I trust him." Carl had been the first client after thanksgiving for GD exterminators. Doris was still on family leave, but this was normal she usually took Christmas time off.
"As I was saying, there's an evil fog out there Gilbert, not caused by no ghosts or anything else I've ever seen in all my years. Navy ain't talking about it, but they lost a whole crew of men to it shipping out of Bremerton. Just ship went into the fog full of crew, came out of the fog empty, picked clean." Gilbert hadn't been contacted by anyone in the military, but it didn't surprise him considering the current state of affairs.
"When did it show up?"
"Shortly after that fire up on the peninsula." Gilbert sucked air between his teeth. He was afraid of something like this, knew it was coming, but a fog? That was a different kind of thing than what he'd expected.
"It's why I'm here Gilbert, I heard you were involved in that, I knew the evil of those woods, but I didn't think that they could manifest on the water like they are now, or I assume they are now."
"You still got that old rust heap on the coast?"
"Gassed up and ready for you." Gilbert nodded and Captain Carl nodded and then left. Clarissa was left just wondering what happened.
****
"This is a bad idea Gilbert, the forest was one thing, but evil fog on ocean? That sounds like it would be worse."
"Can't just leave the problem for someone else Clarissa, that ain't my way." Gilbert didn't want to tell her how afraid he was. The evil in the woods was bad, worse than most things he'd dealt with, and now it was spreading to a new thing, which was mobile.
"Call the government."
"This government? You must be joking, even if I could convince my old unit to help, I don't think they are equipped for this, hell I don't even know if I am, and I understand if you want to stay behind on this one."
"I'm going, I just don't think we should Gilbert, this almost killed you once and that was on land."
"We'll be fine, Carl's an excellent captain, though it has been some years since I've been on one of his ships, I'm sure its in perfect quality."
****
Carl's ship was a rusted wreck of a barely functioning vessel when Gilbert got a look at it. He could hear Clarissa chuckling behind him when they had come down the pier with their gear.
"Shit."
Friday, December 14, 2018
Underestimated Again
99.
98
99
100
Gilbert looked went over the number in his head, it had been a very busy day indeed. The air smelled like sulfur and gun powder. Gilbert had actually had to use some of the weirder demon exorcism rituals he knew after he ran out of bullets. He was pretty much out of just about everything. All he had left was a pen and some invoices, so he sat down and started to add up all the stuff he'd done in the church. Gilbert started chuckling to himself amidst the demon carnage.
"What are you doing?" The last demon would have been scary to Gilbert if he hadn't literally killed/banished over a hundred of them already. It was a body made of different piece of flesh and its face was a mishappen mix of several peoples, grotesque like a picasso.
"Math right now, almost finished, we take cash check or charge, though only visa or mastercard, amex and discover are not welcome."
"HOW DARE YOU?"
"Look you guys had a hell of a demon problem, but with some fire recovery and some beam support you could probably get this church up and running again, I mean the location is shit, but eh its Idaho everything sucks here." Gilbert stood up and handed the flesh demon his bill.
"Are you joking? Ten thousand dollars?"
"Gave you a discount even, could have charged more." The demon looked genuinely offended at the amount.
"I'm not going to pay this, like frankly you're kind of a dick no one invited you in here, nor did we agree to this extermination, you just showed up and started killing people, and yes its killing were demons but we're sentient you monster."
"If you want we can take this to litigation."
"Right yeah sure the american court system is going to give a demon a break, bullshit, look just get out of here you jerk." Gilbert didn't hesitate to get out of the church's basement. He sprinted out of the building just as the demon must have read the back of the bill and realized Gilbert had put an exorcism ritual there.
"YOU'LL BURN DUNKLEY!" The creature shouted as the church building itself collapsed on itself. Gilbert walked calmly to his van and left, making note to give a real bill to Timms later.
****
"So my parents have effectively disowned me." Clarissa was crestfallen at home, Gilbert had barely gotten into the door when she loudly started to inform him of her disastrous Thanksgiving. Gilbert was going to say something about how he had just gotten home, and he wanted to shower, but he could tell the optimal thing would be to listen and empathize even when he just direly wanted not to.
"Oh it went badly?"
"Badly? Oh god it was worse than bad first my dad..."
98
99
100
Gilbert looked went over the number in his head, it had been a very busy day indeed. The air smelled like sulfur and gun powder. Gilbert had actually had to use some of the weirder demon exorcism rituals he knew after he ran out of bullets. He was pretty much out of just about everything. All he had left was a pen and some invoices, so he sat down and started to add up all the stuff he'd done in the church. Gilbert started chuckling to himself amidst the demon carnage.
"What are you doing?" The last demon would have been scary to Gilbert if he hadn't literally killed/banished over a hundred of them already. It was a body made of different piece of flesh and its face was a mishappen mix of several peoples, grotesque like a picasso.
"Math right now, almost finished, we take cash check or charge, though only visa or mastercard, amex and discover are not welcome."
"HOW DARE YOU?"
"Look you guys had a hell of a demon problem, but with some fire recovery and some beam support you could probably get this church up and running again, I mean the location is shit, but eh its Idaho everything sucks here." Gilbert stood up and handed the flesh demon his bill.
"Are you joking? Ten thousand dollars?"
"Gave you a discount even, could have charged more." The demon looked genuinely offended at the amount.
"I'm not going to pay this, like frankly you're kind of a dick no one invited you in here, nor did we agree to this extermination, you just showed up and started killing people, and yes its killing were demons but we're sentient you monster."
"If you want we can take this to litigation."
"Right yeah sure the american court system is going to give a demon a break, bullshit, look just get out of here you jerk." Gilbert didn't hesitate to get out of the church's basement. He sprinted out of the building just as the demon must have read the back of the bill and realized Gilbert had put an exorcism ritual there.
"YOU'LL BURN DUNKLEY!" The creature shouted as the church building itself collapsed on itself. Gilbert walked calmly to his van and left, making note to give a real bill to Timms later.
****
"So my parents have effectively disowned me." Clarissa was crestfallen at home, Gilbert had barely gotten into the door when she loudly started to inform him of her disastrous Thanksgiving. Gilbert was going to say something about how he had just gotten home, and he wanted to shower, but he could tell the optimal thing would be to listen and empathize even when he just direly wanted not to.
"Oh it went badly?"
"Badly? Oh god it was worse than bad first my dad..."
Friday, December 7, 2018
The Depths of Belief
98.
Knock
Knock
Knock
Silence
Gilbert sat beside the door. He'd knocked several times hoping someone would answer and explain why he was here. But no one was coming, no one was answering and his desire to remain was wavering. Gilbert was about to turn away when the door opened. There was no one behind it of course, but whatever was in the church was letting Gilbert inside.
"Today is going to be a bad day." Gilbert looked once more outside and then stepped in. The doors slamming behind him made him sigh to himself. The church's interior was all torched, people's scorched skeletal bodies rested in the pews. Gilbert took out some salt and drew a line from the door as he went, a safe space he could jump behind against what was inhabiting the church. Gilbert could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He had the double barrel shotgun readied, a mixed load of ammunition in the chambers based on what he felt may be inside.
Past the pews and the pulpit where a preacher apparently appeared to have burnt to death during a sermon was a basement. Gilbert cursed. He knew this is where he had to go, knew it and didn't want to go down stairs.As he sat there looking her heard a laugh, a rumbling strike of thunder of a laugh. Like someone who had just heard the funniest joke in the world just laughing and laughing.
"What amuses you demon?"
"You do with your salt and your piety Exterminator." Flames walked up from the deep, a man like form coated in them stomping up the stairs each foot step echoed in the church and reverberated on the walls.
"Behold the mighty demon locked away in a rural church in Idaho."
"This is my prison, but you are not my jailor, you are my savior. I can not walk out of here like this, but in your flesh? In your flesh I can be free." He reached the top of the stairs with a grin. The demon's face was burnt flesh and blackened teeth, the remains of whoever was the poor soul who summoned him in the first place. Gilbert opened fire with one barrel, it caught the demon in his left shoulder and tore it apart, the left arm hung dangling. The demon's grin disappeared, replaced with a snarl.
"Oh not quite so happy are we demon? I hope there's more of you in here or this job is going to be too easy." Gilbert popped open the breach on his shotgun and loaded two more shells into it, "Must have been a demon of dumb assery." The demon howled but the shotgun roared and that was the end of it. Gilbert emptied some more salt on its remains and muttered a prayer to the lord even though he personally never felt that part was worth a damn.
He knew there were more though, the one demon was just an entry point for the rest, like someone who opened the door, the basement which now blazed before him confirmed this. Gilbert sighed to himself and reloaded the shotgun, it was going to be a very very long day.
Knock
Knock
Knock
Silence
Gilbert sat beside the door. He'd knocked several times hoping someone would answer and explain why he was here. But no one was coming, no one was answering and his desire to remain was wavering. Gilbert was about to turn away when the door opened. There was no one behind it of course, but whatever was in the church was letting Gilbert inside.
"Today is going to be a bad day." Gilbert looked once more outside and then stepped in. The doors slamming behind him made him sigh to himself. The church's interior was all torched, people's scorched skeletal bodies rested in the pews. Gilbert took out some salt and drew a line from the door as he went, a safe space he could jump behind against what was inhabiting the church. Gilbert could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He had the double barrel shotgun readied, a mixed load of ammunition in the chambers based on what he felt may be inside.
Past the pews and the pulpit where a preacher apparently appeared to have burnt to death during a sermon was a basement. Gilbert cursed. He knew this is where he had to go, knew it and didn't want to go down stairs.As he sat there looking her heard a laugh, a rumbling strike of thunder of a laugh. Like someone who had just heard the funniest joke in the world just laughing and laughing.
"What amuses you demon?"
"You do with your salt and your piety Exterminator." Flames walked up from the deep, a man like form coated in them stomping up the stairs each foot step echoed in the church and reverberated on the walls.
"Behold the mighty demon locked away in a rural church in Idaho."
"This is my prison, but you are not my jailor, you are my savior. I can not walk out of here like this, but in your flesh? In your flesh I can be free." He reached the top of the stairs with a grin. The demon's face was burnt flesh and blackened teeth, the remains of whoever was the poor soul who summoned him in the first place. Gilbert opened fire with one barrel, it caught the demon in his left shoulder and tore it apart, the left arm hung dangling. The demon's grin disappeared, replaced with a snarl.
"Oh not quite so happy are we demon? I hope there's more of you in here or this job is going to be too easy." Gilbert popped open the breach on his shotgun and loaded two more shells into it, "Must have been a demon of dumb assery." The demon howled but the shotgun roared and that was the end of it. Gilbert emptied some more salt on its remains and muttered a prayer to the lord even though he personally never felt that part was worth a damn.
He knew there were more though, the one demon was just an entry point for the rest, like someone who opened the door, the basement which now blazed before him confirmed this. Gilbert sighed to himself and reloaded the shotgun, it was going to be a very very long day.
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