Shameful Pasts

113.

"I can't believe you know the Mountain Monsters crew, Doris is going to be so happy." Gilbert sighed, Clarissa had been continuously sticking the knife in him over having any kind of connection to those hillbillies. She even had a signed picture addressed to Doris.

"I just want to forget everything that happened up there ok, just you can leave me out of it."

"Oh come on Gilbert they were nice guys! I didn't even know they studied Shakespeare That's so crazy! And they loved you! You like showed them the proper way to take care of that Gillawomp, I mean you have to admit that trap was pretty cool with the swinging logs and impaling spikes." Gilbert sighed again.

"They are charlatans! They make our job look like something idiots in camo and drinking moonshine can do! They get people hurt when they too go looking for bigfoots, or whatever the god damn hell they claim they are looking for! It's insulting!"

"Do people really get hurt looking for bigfoots?"

"All the damn time, most of the shows know where to go to avoid the actual creatures, they are just tv bullshit, but general people don't, they'll go deep in a forest no one should be deep in and get snatched up, sometimes the bigfoot just scare them send them on their way, sometimes though they don't, and it just spirals from there, entire communities of people have been lost."

"You're joking."

"I wish I was joking, shows like mountain monsters are as dangerous as those house flipping shows." Clarissa frowned.

"What's wrong with house flipping shows?"

"We have four hours till we get home, do you really want to hear me rant the whole time?"

"Yes very much yes, its either this or talk radio and we're firmly in the crazy spectrum for that, so please Gilbert enlighten me about house flipping shows."

"Ok first off..."

****

"And that's the last time I watched one of those shows, after all the work I'd done for them, that was how they portrayed me."

"So that's why you hate those shows."

"Well that and they drive up the prices of regular houses with false advertising about how easy it is to flip your house, but mostly how they dealt with me."

"Ok I think I get... GILBERT STOP!" It was mostly dark on the road, but Clarissa could clearly see a group of people standing in the road, just standing there. Gilbert slammed on the brakes and stopped short of the group, it was twenty people all looking dazed and confused standing in the road.

"Yes this is normal just twenty people standing in the middle of the road at night."

"Zombies?" Gilbert looked at the group who didn't seem phased from having almost been killed by his van.

"Don't look like zombies, maybe there is some phish concert and these folks wandered away from it."

"Gilbert!"

"What are the phish not a thing anymore?" Clarrisa sighed, and reached into the back for her bow.

"We need to at least see what's going on."

"Sure not being paid for it and its the middle of the night, what's the worst that can happen?"