Crazy Roy's Magic

11.

The ax was a mystery. It looked like a well worn fire ax. Nothing jumped out as special to Gilbert or Clarissa. Clarissa even tried to bathe the ax in fire thinking it was like Lord of the Rings and some secret writing would show up. Nothing looked out of place with it, and Gilbert was getting frustrated at looking. It was nearly midnight when he gave up and called his magic guy Roy.

"Sorry for calling so late."

"Gil my shop opens at 5pm, do you think I keep normal hours?" Roy sounded fairly young to Clarissa, even younger than her.

"Well I have this ax..."

"Right took it off that Paul creature right?"

"How did you?"

"I'm a magician Gilbert, I've told you that several times and every time you seem shocked I know things."

"You mean you're a bullshitter, the only magic you seem capable of is taking money and turning it into useless junk."

"That hurts Gil."

"Roy I need you to look at the ax not do your Kreskin act, so are you going to do it or not?" Gilbert's patience had run thin.

"Sure sure no need to bite my head off, I'll make sure to have some coffee on for when you get here." Gilbert looked at Clarissa with a shrug. He almost did a double take, since she had chosen one of Shirley's old jean dresses for a brief moment in the light she looked like her.

"Got to go by Roy's shop, shouldn't take too long, then maybe get a decent night of sleep, see Doris, that sort of thing."

"Fine by me, is he a real magician?"

"No, Roy O'grady is many things, but having actual magic is beyond him. At best he's an illusionist, makes you think you see one thing when you are in fact seeing something else. Most of the time it means you think you are seeing someone competent, when you are in fact seeing someone making shit up. But he's the best at dealing with magical objects, which is a statement on the sorry state of magical research." Clarissa didn't have anything to add to that so into Gilbert's van they went.

Crazy Roy's Magic Shop was near downtown. It was in what had once been the town movie theater. The shops next to it were not occupied, some commercial rental signs sat dustily hanging. Clarissa remembered from her college days, which seemed like years ago despite having literally been days ago, seeing the magic shop with its odd hours and seemingly empty businesses next door wondering how such a hokey place kept in business. Roy himself played the part of the cheap magician. He was wearing a three piece suit like a carnival ring leader, with a large curled up mustache and overly large top hat. Roy looked almost impossibly thin as well, but Clarissa worried if that was an illusion as Gilbert had warned.

"Putting on the ritz for me Roy?"

"Not for you, your new assistant, nice to meet you Clarissa, the name is Roy O'Grady and I'm every bit the scoundrel your boss holds me out as." Gilbert sighed, but Clarissa appreciated the attention even if Roy looked to be at least twenty years her senior.

"Now I know someone told you, had to be Santinni, he's the only one who knew of the ax and Clarissa." Roy frowned.

"Guilty Gilbert, he swung by earlier giving me his usual spiel about not paying for illegally obtained items, making sure things are on the up and up and no creature enslavement, I swear he thinks the worst of me."

"Because he knows you. Now about this Ax." Gilbert put it on the counter, it looked somehow more menacing in the shops light versus Gilbert's living room.

"Mortensen place." Gilbert looked at Roy with a glare.

"Excuse me."

"You want me to look over the ax, I need you to clear out the Mortensen place, you scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"It's a god damned ghost house Roy."

"Yeah and I want to run people through it, but not when there are actives ghosts in it Gil."

"Isn't that what you are selling them on? Seeing ghosts?"

"Not the homicidal kind that rip flesh from your face, the idiot kind like you see on tv where things creak and bump and oh no did you hear a whisper. But that's the deal, you clear the Mortensen place, I'll look over your murder ax, deal?" Roy held his hand out and Gilbert reluctantly shook it. Gilbert hated ghosts, but he wanted to know about the ax, and so he agreed against his better judgement to exterminate some ghosts.