Revenge of the WereTurkeys

96.

"Ok you were right turkeys are scary." The cook and waitress were dead, Gilbert and Clarissa had barricaded the windows with furniture to stem the Turkey horde. Gilbert had managed to get some weapons from his van, but both he and Clarissa felt they had ultimately too little versus the turkey's too many.

"So what do we have versus the turkey horde?" Gilbert didn't like their chances, it was late at night, they were at an isolated truck stop diner and the turkeys had some how planned their way to the ambush he and Clarissa found himself in.

"Well I have eight arrows, you managed to snag a box of shotgun shells and the double barrel and I believe I picked up a pistol magazine without a pistol to put it into." Gilbert shook his head, somewhere outside the restaurant the turkeys gobbled at each other.

"Its nice to be fucked, especially by turkeys, I'm sure in some Karma for extravagant thanksgiving celebrations sort of way."

"We aren't getting stuffed, not today, not ever, hold down the front Gilbert I'm going to go look in the back for something." Clarissa had no idea what she was looking for, or what a greasy spoon in the middle of nowhere could have that would stop a wereturkey army, but she was determined to find it. The kitchen was horrifying when Clarissa entered it. More so for how unclean it was, she immediately regretted everything she'd eaten earlier.

"Going to need that plan fast, the turkey's have gone quiet, pretty sure they're planning something." Clarissa laughed to herself as the idea of being afraid of turkeys was funny up until an hour before.

"I got something but you're not going to like it."

"Bring it out."

Clarissa wheeled out the fryers from in the back, Gilbert could see the caked on crumbs and blackened remains of many many fried foods, but was confused why Clarissa thought they would help.

"Before you ask, no we're not going to get them to get to jump in the fryer, we're going to cook them another way."

"Grease fire, smart."

"It burns hot right?"

"Real hot, so lure them in and then torch it? Sneak out the back?"

"Better than our current plan of just waiting to die right."

"Right." Gilbert smiled at the cleverness of the plan. It could just as easily fail, but so could a lot of things.

They coated the floors in the grease, making sure to keep up the illusion to the turkeys they weren't planning on cooking them alive. Clarissa had taken some of the spare ammunition from one of the pistol magazines and gotten the powder out of it to put on her arrow, she figured it was the safest way to set the restaurant on fire, if there was such a thing. They had coated the front area in grease, the floors glistened unnaturally and were super slick, Clarissa already fell on her butt once just trying to get to the back.

"So we're just going to wait for?" Clarissa didn't know how to open the doors, her and Gilbert had disagreed on what they should do. Gilbert's plan was to wait, the turkeys had a plan to get in and he knew if they tried to open the door up to them it would make it obvious it was a trap. Clarissa thought this was stupid and the longer they waited the less they'd get all the turkeys at once. Before Gilbert could answer her question the roof caved in, hundreds of murderous turkeys covered the ruined floor. Clarissa lit the arrow and let it fly, she worried for a moment while it was in the air the ruined roof would stop the floor from catching fire, but as soon as the arrow hit the ground the floor went as did the rest of the restaurant.

Gilbert and Clarissa quickly left the building through a back entrance. Inside the were turkey's were howling as they burned. The alpha turkey saw his plan fail and slinked off during the fire, vowing revenge once again on Gilbert. Though neither Clarissa or Gilbert knew this, and still to this day are unaware of it beyond "remember that time we cooked turkeys in rural washington".

*****

"Were turkeys?"

"Yes Sheriff." The fire department arrived a half hour in, the sheriff a guy that Gilbert had talked to once or twice but could not remember if he was friendly with had followed shortly after that.

"Explains the smell, like my wifes thanksgiving, all burnt and awful I hate turkey you see."

"Coming around to it myself."

"Shame about Denis's place and Denise herself, always liked the pie."

"Coffee wasn't half bad either."

"Well you and your assistant be safe now, I'd say come back soon but seeing as you showed up and burnt down a restaurant how about you don't."

"Fair enough Sheriff Fair enough." And thus ended the were turkey revenge. For now. DUN DUN DUN.