The Were Turkey Menance

95.

"Ok I'm calling bullshit, you are not afraid of Turkeys." Clarissa and Gilbert had stopped at an all night diner along the road. Gilbert was well into his second cup of coffee as he was telling his story.

"You didn't see these turkeys, honestly its something I keep under my hat, not a lot of people would respect a man afraid of Turkey gobbling, but seeing this sea of evil turkeys just put me in a bad place." Clarissa shook her head.

"I just don't believe that like gobble gobble can unsettle you."

"Can I just get back to telling my damn story?"

"Sure sure."

****

At first they didn't notice me. I don't know what goes on in the mind of a wereturkey, but it apparently was just to gobble and wait. I was thinking of backing up when the damn things attacked all at once. Just a mess of gobling and pecking, they started punching through the windshield and windows almost immediately. I put the van into gear and gunned it hoping to at least clear the herd more than anything. Trouble was I couldn't see where I was going, and so I smashed through the herd, off the road and right into a tree.

I was disoriented from the crash, but the turkeys were still attacking so I knew I had to do something. This is where my military training really helped. I'd killed plenty of things as a government exterminator, so I knew I had to control the situation or the damned were fowl would win. So I loaded up a rifle, a double barrel shotgun and various knives and threw open the side door of my van and opened up. I didn't exactly know what would take down the turkeys, but I knew I could at least wound the bastards long enough to put them down.

I don't know what goes through the mind of a were turkey other than malice and hatred, but I do know bullets can too. Unlike say a were wolf, were turkeys are just mean, but can be killed all the same as any other creature. So I started making sunday dinner out of all them damn turkeys. Using all my ammo in the process because when you're scared you don't make the wisest of shooting decisions.

The turkey's lay dead and splattered all around my van. I could see from the impact it was going to probably be a total'd van. One of six in my entire career and this one was at the start, which let me tell you made me think I made the smartest of decisions. I thought I had gotten all the turkeys at first. But then I heard another gobble. A gobble that wasn't a regular gobble, it was an evil gobble.

****

"Seriously another evil gobble?"

"Will you quit?" Gilbert was on to his fourth cup of coffee. Clarissa hadn't seen the waitress in twenty minutes, but figured it was late at night and they were the only people at the restaurant.

"I'm just saying I'm not entirely buying this story of evil turkeys."

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Bender of the truth."

"You know I have to go to the bathroom, and when I'm done and we're back on the road I hope you'll be more receptive to my story."

"I hope your story is more closely lined to the truth!" Gilbert got up in a huff and Clarissa quietly laughed to herself. And in the wilderness nearby the were turkey planned its revenge.