The Worst Help From the Worst Person

128.

"This van smells bad."

"No one invited you!" Clarissa and Gilbert said it in unison. They'd been driving for thirty minutes and twenty nine of those minutes was Trezlan complaining.

"Rude of both of you to attack me like that when I'm providing my extensive experience in aiding you on this adventure."

"You bribed your way onto this adventure Trezlan." Gilbert thought to himself he should never have agreed. A thought that kept repeating itself to him.

"What even are you anyway?" Gilbert wanted to tell Clarissa what she just asked was the worst question to ask, but it was too late, he could hear the inhale of breath from Trezlan.

"Well since you asked unlike your rude employer. I come from a land your gutteral tongue can't pronounce so I shall not try. I arrived here mostly on accident, I had been adventuring myself in a cave when a portal opened and deposited me here several hundred years ago." Clarissa looked to Gilbert who shook his head in a 'this guy is full of shit' sort of way.

"So you're hundreds of years old?"

"Several hundreds of years, I'm a necromancer, I keep my life force going by taking from others."

"Just to let you know Clarissa he's some kind of something, but between his bullshit and lies I haven't been able to tell specifically what he is other than stupid and dangerous."

"You're contributions to my story is appreciated Gilbert, I really enjoy these allegations from you."

"Glad I could help Trezlan."

"Anyway, I take life from others to keep my own going, I was very thankful even though this world seems to lack the magic of my world, my magic still works here, mostly. It's just a lot harder to do stuff like conjure fire."

"Conjure fire?"

"Yeah like this." Trezlan had a fire ball manifest in his hand for a brief moment before it disappeared. It surprised Clarissa to see like actual real magic.

"It's a parlor trick, you can see people on the vegas strip do the same thing."

"I highly doubt that Gilbert, people on the Vegas strip can't engulf their whole bodies in flame, well not do that and live for long after I should say."

"So are you unique where you come from? Or is it a planet full of necromancers?" Trezlan shivered at the thought of a planet of necromancers.

"No its just me, and one other person I hope to kill one day when I get back."

"Oh well good talk." Clarissa could see why Gilbert didn't like Trezlan. Gilbert could see in her face she had come to the correct position Trezlan was stupid and dangerous.

"Look he totally earned it ok, like if you knew Morley like I know Morley. Ok nevermind just drive on."

****

"And who's this asshole now?"

"Don't like start Garcia."

"Trezlan Lorentino I can explain my presence here..."