You Can't Reason with Food

115.

"Ok so man eating mushroom people is pretty much the last thing I expected at this time of night in the country side." Gilbert's attempt to talk to the mushroom people had lead to a lot of teeth and a lot of anger. Clarissa and he had holed up in the remains of the pizza shop, the mushroom people for their teeth and scary had not been able to break in past the glass.

"Maybe we just didn't appeal to them properly."

"I really doubt saying hello is mushroom for fuck you."

"Maybe they are huge racists."

"Yes mushroom people have long hunted black people dating back to the original mushroom soup massacre, Clarissa please we need solutions here they will find a way in."

"Do it like the turkeys and knock over fryer grease and cook them?"

"Aren't any fryers here, just a brick pizza oven."

"Shit." The pounding on the glass was getting louder. Gilbert had his revolver, but he only had around eight bullets left. Clarissa had a knife, but her bow was in the van which was behind all the mushroom people. Clarissa did try and call 911, but the number didn't connect to a person and she had to leave a message which felt like the height of a bad idea. They did find some cards so they could at least kill the time before the mushrooms rushed in to eat them.

****

"Go fish."

"I highly doubt you don't have any 3's."

"I told you to go fish because I don't Clarissa you chose this after you didn't like poker."

"It was less didn't like and more felt you were cheating..."

"Either way, wait did you hear something?" The mushrooms had stopped doing much to the glass. They had rounded up the people to take them somewhere, but had mostly left Gilbert and Clarissa alone aside from a couple spikey looking mushrooms waiting at the door. Gilbert had heard what sounded like gunfire.

"Someone who broke free of the mushrooms?"

"Nah sounds too concentrated, multiple reports of gunfire. Something else is going on." Over the sounds of gunfire Gilbert distinctly heard a yahoo. It was getting closer, both he and Clarissa watched out for the source of it. Eventually the group of men in sheriff's uniforms arrived and killed the mushrooms trapping them in.

"Someone leave an emergency message?"